OKAY EVERYBODY. We're making a census for Potter heads on Tumblr. We're going to try to count exactly how many Potter heads are on Tumblr for 2011. All you have to do is REBLOG THIS if you are a Potter head.
Today, I stood in my own way on something that I really want. We each had to vote on who got to get promoted (a weird school thing, but it’s really important to me) And I said in all honesty that although I think I have all the right qualities for it, one of the others possibly wanted it more. I DON’T KNOW WHY I SAID THIS! Because I knew that overall, we would be picked by who wanted it most, not by who was best (again, I think this is stupid, but not as stupid as me saying that he wanted it more when I know that I want it most)
Now don’t misunderstand, this boy does want it, he really does. But so do I. And I have more experience of doing it, I’m physically more capable, and I want it just as much as the other two do.
But I said that he wants it most without even thinking about it, because just before I had been asked, I was thinking how much work he’d done for it. Because I voted for him, and both he and the other guy voted for themselves, he’s in charge. I should have voted for myself too. Although that wouldn’t have put me in charge, that would have meant we would have to be chosen differently-probably by merit, in which case, I would come at least second, and not last. Because I came last, I’ve got the crappy job, because by saying he wanted it more, I was saying that I didn’t want it. Which was bull.
I’m always being told to put myself first, because I never do. And I still don’t. Once, I was made to put myself first. And it was amazing. The fact that I did has quite literally changed my life. So, for the first time in my life, I’m going to make a selfish decision. I’m going to go back to the man who makes the decision (because it hasn’t been finalised, and the other two haven’t been given their positions yet) and I’m going to explain that I do really want it, and that although I don’t expect him to rearrange it all, I want him to know that I do care about it, and that I actually care a lot. Hopefully, he’ll reconsider putting me third, and maybe put me in second place. If not, never mind. At least then I will know that I didn’t just drop out to save someone’s feelings, which is effectively what I did. The stupidest thing is that I hardly know the other two, and that I know they didn’t consider my feelings, and I know that logically, I shouldn’t have considered theirs.
So, bearing all this in mind, I’m going to try to be more selfish. That is, make decisions for my own benefit once in a while. So even if I don’t achieve anything tomorrow by asking, I’ll have learnt my lesson. Because I’m fed up with standing in my own way.
If you’ve made it all the way through this (and congratulations if you have!) and you’re still interested, I suggest you try the same thing-even if just for a week. Think about how much time you spend on your friends. How much better would your life be if you spent just half of this time on yourself? If you pulled extra shifts, or painted, or exercised, or even just took some time out to chill? How much happier would you be?